Ranking the Horror: Franchises of Fear Part 2

 

Last Halloween there were six. This years All Hallow's Season slayers brings a terrifying Deadly Dozen—ranking each franchise titles from best to least (or worst in some cases). For this first sequel, it's an eclectic mix of theatrical and DTV series entries featuring a variety of Monsters, Aliens, Madmen, Demonic Forces and Killer Kids. Just as before, these rankings are based on a mix of entertainment value, quality of the film, and nostalgia factor.  

Ranking THE OMEN series: 6 entries (1976-2024)

 

1. THE OMEN (1976)

 

Gregory Peck in a horror movie where he raises the Anti-Christ? He never saw it coming either. I, however, saw this for the first time in the early 1980s on HBO, and it scared the hell out of me. Upon seeing THE EXORCIST (1973) several years later, it was THE OMEN that left the biggest impression on me. The poem spoken by Robert Troughton is one of the most chilling pieces of dialog ever uttered: "From the eternal sea he rises; creating armies on either shore; turning man against his brother; until man exists no more". Richard Donner's end of the world via demonic apocalypse has stood the test of time and started a trend of spectacular death scenes in major studio horror not of the slasher variety. The award winning Jerry Goldsmith score with its devilish invocation of Gregorian chants will stay with you forever. Absolutely one of the most terrifying films ever made; and not because of jump scares, but the tone and relentless sense of dread that builds to the famously downbeat ending. The last, infamously shocking scene where “evil wins” will haunt you for days after.

2. DAMIEN: OMEN II (1978)

Set a few days after THE OMEN then jumps ahead seven years, this popular sequel finds the Devil’s progeny taken in by Gregory Peck’s brother (played by William Holden) and raising Hell at a military school. The plot is basically the same movie over again but set in different environs than before. And Just like the first movie, there’s several spectacularly gory demises awaiting the cast; the best is probably the victim who’s cut in half in the elevator. OMEN 2 started the trend where a surviving character is killed off at the beginning of a sequel. And unlike most sequels, DAMIEN is a damn good one worthy of the superb original. There’s a double twist at the end that’s an unforeseen surprise. Genre favorite Lance Henriksen features as Damien’s demonic guardian. A worthy sequel that's about neck and neck with the original.

3. THE FINAL CONFLICT: OMEN III (1981)

The anti-Christ has grown into adulthood in the form of Sam Neill (JURASSIC PARK). His eyes on the presidency and world domination, a group of assassin priests each armed with one of the Seven Daggers of Megiddo, intend to destroy Damien before he can bring about Armageddon—leading to plentiful deaths. It’s classily made, but flirts with becoming total trash when Satan’s disciples begin killing babies left and right in an attempt to prevent Christ’s birth. After an immense build-up between the three films, the battle between good and evil is unexpectedly anticlimactic. You expect something like the spirits coming out of the Ark in RAIDERS but instead, we get Damien literally stabbed in the back… much like the audience anticipating a satisfying clash between Heaven and Hell. 

 

4. THE FIRST OMEN (2024)

 

Occasionally plodding and a bit too self-indulgent at times, the prelude to Armageddon never feels like the end of the world is nigh. It's certainly creepy at times and evokes a foreboding sense of dread and evil, I just wish it had a more forceful grasp on its horror potential. It repeats some of the deaths from the ‘76 original making it feel less like a prequel than another remake. Another movie released around the same time, IMMACULATE, was an almost identical movie, and was more assured of its inherent devilry than the actual sequel to the series that personified the "Evil Wins" ending.

5. THE OMEN (2006)

Akin to the PSYCHO remake, this lifeless, unnecessary do-over has next to nothing going for it. Writer David Seltzer seems to have simply tweaked a few places in his script of the ‘76 original, wrote 2006 on it, and called it a day. The lead actor Liev Schreiber is as bland as everything else. There is one reason for horror fans see it, and that's the appearance of the late John Morghen, aka Giovanni Lombardo Radice; a vastly underrated actor known primarily for Italian horror films like Fulci’s CITY OF THE LIVING DEAD (1980) and Lenzi’s CANNIBAL FEROX (1981). If it weren't for him, this entry would be rated at the bottom. He wrote an autobiography that's a must-read for fans titled 'A Zombie Life'. You'll notice I've talked mostly about John Morghen than the film, and that's because there’s no impact from any of the lazily cloned set-pieces; and nothing else to say to recommend it.

6. OMEN IV: THE AWAKENING (1991)

Sequels don’t get as unnecessary as this made for television remake of the first movie. It does add some new details to the mythology while focusing on a demonic little girl this time. The greatest sin the film commits is it’s hellishly boring. There is a nice twist towards the end but it’s not enough to get this movie to rank any higher than it does. One of the directors is Dominic Orthenin-Girard who was the first of a few filmmakers that sought to destroy the HALLOWEEN franchise with the stupidest sequels imaginable. Further attempts to revive the property for television came with a pilot in 1995 and a short-lived 10-episode series in 2016.

Ranking THE HILLS HAVE EYES series: 5 entries (1977-2007)

1. THE HILLS HAVE EYES (1977)

Unfortunately, I saw Craven’s astonishingly crummy sequel before I saw the original; so I wasn’t in any great hurry to see it. When I finally did see the original HILLS, it took a second viewing in the 90s for me to fully appreciate what a brilliantly barbaric movie it was. Craven basically took the “civilized turn savage” motif of his earlier LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT (1972) and made it the focus of this desert-set nightmare. A suburban family on vacation become stranded in the Nevada desert and must fight to survive against a clan of cannibals trying to eat them. Brutal as hell and made Michael Berryman a horror icon.

 

THE HILLS HAVE EYES (2006)

 

Much like the DAWN OF THE DEAD do-over and the TEXAS CHAINSAW replication before it, the HILLS redux was a shockingly effective remake. French filmmaker Alexandre Aja exploded onto the scene with the ingenious splatterfest HIGH TENSION (2003). When it was announced he'd he heading HILLS version 2, it was somewhat disappointing that he wasn't being allowed to do something original for his US debut. Any doubts were dispersed once the film hit theaters. Aja faithfully followed Craven's original movie for an hour of its running time; then hits the viewer head-on with a surprising breadth of creativity and new direction in the last 40. The one thing I wish had been done differently was for more time to have been afforded Billy Drago as Papa Jupiter. His screen time is minimal and only gets a line or two of dialog. Still, HILLS ‘06 is an incredibly gritty horror film with familiarity and surprises. Aja did it again with his remake of PIRANHA that swam into theaters in 2010. He was so good at them, I had hoped he'd handle all other horror remakes from thereon.

 

THE HILLS HAVE EYES 2 (2007)

 

History repeats itself with the sequel to the remake being nearly as awful as the sequel to the original. Craven only co-wrote this disappointing sequel with his son, Jonathan. Why must so many horror movies of the last 20 years be populated by characters you either despise or are never going to identify with in any way? The 1985 train-wreck pitted dirt bike riders against Pluto (Michael Berryman) and a new guy, The Reaper (John Bloom); while the more recent misfire had the updated cannibal clan mixing it up with a bunch of unbelievably incompetent National Guardsmen. HILLS 2 version 2 opens in ferociously nasty fashion, but goes downhill afterward. There’s some more than adequately gruesome  sequences (like a victim tortured in an outhouse and a mutant who has his brain matter plucked out), but compared to Aja's excellent addition, the 2007 sequel is woefully inferior. The twist ending is a clone of the remake—promising more mutant mayhem in another sequel that has yet to materialize. An 80s style heavy metal song titled ‘The Hills Have Eyes’ by LoudLion plays over the end credits and is worth listening to.

 

MIND RIPPER (1995)

 

What started out as THE HILLS HAVE EYES PART III somehow became MIND RIPPER. The only carry-overs are the desert location and a cannibalistic killer. Craven produced while his son wrote the picture. The basic plot finds scientific geniuses (sarcasm) conducting experiments to create a super soldier using a dead bodybuilder. Lance Henriksen reanimates his corpse and the resultant creation (dubbed Thor) cannibalizes everyone in sight while gradually mutating into an unstoppable superhuman. MIND RIPPER is certainly not going to make you think, but it’s mildly fun and gory entertainment. I originally had this just ahead of HILLS 2 remake, but upon rewatching that one, that opening sequence is just outrageously tasteless and put it across the line.

 

THE HILLS HAVE EYES 2 (1985)

 

One of the absolute worst sequels ever made. The original HILLS directed by Wes Craven was an endurance test of raw terror. The sequel, written and directed by him, is an endurance test of one's patience. Doing dumb things in a slasher movie is normal; but this sequel takes stupidity to a new level bordering on unwatchable. Harry Manfredini's score was literally rushed to meet a deadline and sounds like a lost FRIDAY THE 13TH soundtrack--JASON TAKES  THE DESERT. Production problems owing to it, Craven admitted at the time he hated making the movie, and it shows. Then Craven turned around and made A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET (1984) and everyone forgot any eyes on the HILLS PART 2.

Ranking THE EVIL DEAD series: 5 entries (1981-2023)

1. THE EVIL DEAD (1981)

Sam Raimi’s zombie/demonic possession classic is an incredible achievement of low budget ingenuity. In its day, THE EVIL DEAD was wildly over the top with its impressive array of dismemberments and arterial sprays. In 2024, it stands as a milestone in splatter FX wizardry when prosthetics were in their infancy and the bane of CGI was over a decade away. Star Bruce Campbell became a cult icon and Sam Raimi became the horror genres youngest favorite son. A single location. A limited cast. Few resources. Marvelously grueling horror film.

2. EVIL DEAD II (1987)

Every special effects trick in the book was incorporated into Sam Raimi’s second trek to that demon-infested cabin in the woods. Most fans prefer this semi-sequel/remake to the original. I felt the same way at first, but in the years since, my appreciation for the raw horror of the first film won out. ED2 nonetheless is a tour de force of darkly humorous horror and wildly creative camerawork. When it came out, it was unlike anything seen before due to the amazing variety in the special effects department. You could say it was the TERMINATOR 2 of horror films. For a comedy-horror flick, it’s as macabre as it gets. Many would say this was the best of the series. If I were to rate it strictly by set-pieces alone, it easily would be #1. 

 

3. EVIL DEAD RISE (2023)

Shockingly good sequel that, in a bold and refreshing move, benefits from moving the setting from the woods to an urban high rise. I remember thinking this was going to potentially be a bad idea but it was pulled off much better than the remake from 2013. The opening sequence that takes place at a cabin in the woods captured a level of tension the remake couldn’t muster. Particularly the replication of the scene from the original where Cheryl begins naming all the cards in a deck without seeing them. Here, it’s the recently turned victim reading passages in a book without seeing them. The only minor detriment to the film is it loses some of its edge at the end when the final demon turns into THE THING. It’s a promising script and an all new look for the Necronomicon.

 

4. ARMY OF DARKNESS (1991)

This is a vastly unpopular opinion, but ARMY OF DARKNESS is an overrated step backward for Sam Raimi’s series. It’s reliant on far too many unfunny jokes and one-liners. There’s some humorous moments (the funniest being the nod to THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL) but overall, Ash is annoying as hell in what is ostensibly THE EVIL DEAD for kids. The studio sets have an imaginatively macabre look to them and the stop-motion tributes to Ray Harryhausen are an excellent touch; it’s just the DARKNESS doesn’t feel like an EVIL DEAD movie. Had it maintained the dark humor tone of part 2, and had a few gory set pieces, it might’ve turned out better than the tepid, inexplicably R-rated diet horror romp it is. A great many fans love the film. As much as I try to be, I am not one of them.

5. THE EVIL DEAD (2013)

It was only a matter of time before Hollywood got around to remaking Raimi’s THE EVIL DEAD. If nothing else, Fede Alvarez makes an admirable attempt and pulls off a properly creepy ambiance. Probably the biggest difference is now, the Deadites possess their hosts to mutilated themselves as often as their targets attempt to mutilate them. There are some good scenes but the film lost me towards the end when one of the demonic zombies is brought back to her human form. The male character who is basically Ash is then killed off and the former female deadite is now the last minute heroine. Shortly thereafter her hand is caught under a car as rain pours down. Instead of digging her hand out of the mud she figures it’s best to simply rip her hand off instead. An in-end credits scene gives the impression that the sole survivor may still be possessed. I’ll stick with the original.

Ranking the CHILDREN OF THE CORN franchise: 9 entries out of 11 (1984-2023)

1. CHILDREN OF THE CORN (1984)

Based on Stephen King’s short story, this tale of adolescent corn-shucker crazies killing their parents for obeisance to a giant gopher god we never see is among the most popular horror movies of the 1980s; while the phrase “He Who Walks Behind the Rows”  became part of the American cinema and cultural lexicon. The opening pre-credits sequence is shockingly vicious in its depiction of teenagers slaughtering the adults in the town of Gatlin, Nebraska. The tension is occasionally strong with some good scares scattered about. What’s most memorable are scene-stealing performances by John Franklin as the evil Isaac and Courtney Gains as the murderous Malachai. A slew of mostly worthless sequels followed; some with interesting ideas but lousy execution. Peter Horton went on to big things with the TV series THIRTYSOMETHING (1987–1991) while Linda Hamilton went on to even bigger things like THE TERMINATOR series.

 

2. CHILDREN OF THE CORN III: URBAN HARVEST (1995)

URBAN HARVEST is the cream corn of the crop where sequels in this franchise fall. This entry directed by James D.R. Hickox takes the series into an intriguing direction. The setting is Chicago although the plot does return to Gatlin at one point. It’s about two brothers, Joshua and Eli, who are adopted by a couple from Chicago. Eli, who is this film’s version of Isaac (and the second best next to John Franklin’s portrayal of Isaac), immediately sets about starting a new, citified corn cult; and killing anyone who interferes. It’s easily the most ambitious film in the series in terms of gore and special effects including HALLOWEEN III style heads cracking open and bugs pouring out; demonic corn husks ripping bodies apart; and a giant corn monster that shows up to wipe out dozens of extras during the falls-count-anywhere finale.

 

3. CHILDREN OF THE CORN: RUNAWAY (2018)

Shockingly good 9th series entry is admittedly overly talky but the script requiring it is the best since at least part 4. A young girl escapes the original, murderous Gatlin child cult and has been on the run ever since. Now grown up and with a son, the homeless duo end up in a small Oklahoma town but the Nebraskan evil has followed them there. In terms of tone and atmosphere, RUNAWAY is the best of the sequels with a direct link to the first movie. Clu Gulager has a cameo role and his son John directed the movie. John also helmed the FEAST trilogy and the mediocre PIRANHA 3DD (2012). How you feel about those films will play into your enthusiasm to see RUNAWAY. It’s certainly a far better movie than the wall of obscurity it’s been chained to. URBAN HARVEST has long been my favorite of the sequels I've seen for pure horror fun alone, but RUNAWAY is so good, it's damn near a tie for storytelling and mood. A total surprise. There's a few harrowing, back-to-back twists that sneak up on you at the end that ranks this one even higher for the effort put into it. Stick around for the end-credits scene for one last bit of unsettling horror.

4. CHILDREN OF THE CORN IV: THE GATHERING (1996)

Part 4 deviates even further from the previous films and is a surprisingly strong sequel despite no connections to the previous three films. It does, however, retain the spirit of them. The plot concerns an evil child preacher who was killed by the residents of a Nebraska town. Years later, he comes back for revenge and to be reborn by using the towns children to do it. The tone is even darker than the first film and there’s some creepy characters like the two old ladies who reveal the town’s dark secret. Naomi Watts, who would go on to great things, stars alongside veteran Karen Black; both of whom are reasons this fourth entry turned out as good as it did. Watch for William Windom, famous for playing commodore Decker on the celebrated season 2 STAR TREK episode, ‘The Doomsday Machine’, meet a gruesome end. From here on, this series is mostly a bad crop.

 

CHILDREN OF THE CORN II: THE FINAL SACRIFICE (1992)

 

It took eight years for a CORN sequel to arrive and the result leaves one questioning, "why bother?"  If you can make it through the bad acting, there's a few good spots spread over the 92 minutes. One bizarre sequence has an elderly woman terrorized by the killer kids literally proclaiming, "what a world, what a world!"  before being crushed by her house with only her legs jutting out. I'm surprised the director didn't demand her appendages shrivel up and disappear under the house afterward. The main villain, Micah, really makes you miss Isaac. There's a realization as to just how effective John Franklin was in that role. CHILDREN OF THE CORN II feels like a TV movie with a few gore scenes shot for home video. It did briefly play theaters and was successful enough that more sequels came; the next one being vastly superior to THE FINAL SACRIFICE.

 

CHILDREN OF THE CORN 666: ISAAC'S RETURN (1999)

The series returns to Gatlin in this fifth sequel and sixth entry. What made this sequel of interest was the reappearance of insane child preacher Isaac Chroner once more played by John Franklin (who also co-wrote the script). Unfortunately, any anticipation for what could’ve been an enjoyable sequel quickly turns to disinterest. A woman returns to Gatlin to find her mother and discovers Isaac Chroner is still alive and in a coma. A deep sleep is what you may find yourself in if you try and make it through the excessively talky 82 minutes. Even though he’s vastly subdued, it’s refreshing to see Isaac again; and the references to the original are nice, but director Kari Skogland acts like she’s not interested in making a straight horror movie. Nancy Allen and Stacy Keach are the big names in a bad movie this time around. There's a cool twist at the end (even if it's modestly telegraphed), but it's not enough to make this anything more than "He Who Talks Behind the Rows". 

CHILDREN OF THE CORN V: FIELDS OF TERROR (1998)

The PLAN 9 in the popular killer kid series wants to be the fun sequel that URBAN HARVEST was, but with lots of quips and familiar genre faces who probably wished they'd taken a detour onto a different movie. In this one, a group of friends are traveling through the Midwest to spread the ashes of a dead friend till car trouble leads them into this bad movie. The plot makes no sense. When two of their friends are found dead in a corn field, they don’t even bother telling the sheriff about the creepy kids that were in the field with them. Firefighters in this movie don’t know about “stop, drop and roll”. The phrase “He Who Walks Behind the Rows” is said like a thousand times. Why are the adults still alive and mingling with the killer kids? Even more bizarre, and without explanation, an adult is the leader of the children. It’s the first genuinely dumb sequel that can’t be saved by cult favorites Fred Williamson as the sheriff, David Carradine as the corn cult leader and Kane Hodder as a bartender. Eva Mendez is one of the main characters. FIELDS OF TERROR came within a corncob of ranking at the bottom, but it's so spectacularly embarrassing, its stupidity is so enthusiastic, it climbs a couple notches. And that's not a recommendation.

 

CHILDREN OF THE CORN (2009)

The first of two remakes, this one debuting on the SyFy Channel. It’s written and directed by Donald P. Borchers who produced the 1984 original, the producer of THE BEASTMASTER (1982), and was the writer and producer of VAMP (1986). For whatever reason, Borchers thought the best course of action was to make this version of Burt and Vicky the most insufferable couple committed to film. They reminded me of the bickering couple played by Joan Blondell and William Demarest in the season 5 episode of THE TWILIGHT ZONE, ‘What’s in the Box’. But their constant hurling insults at one another was humorous and well written; here, it’s just exasperating. This remake lifts wholesale from the original including the music score but the kid playing Isaac is terrible and is no match for John Franklin’s rendition of a deranged child preacher. The actor replicating Malachai as originally played by Courtney Gains is marginally better but still miles away from being as memorable. Probably the best moment is the little kid talking about “He who woks behind da’ woes”. Other than it being more violent and a few decent spots here and there, you’re better off watching the original again. If you’ve the patience, there’s a two minute post-credits sequence I discovered by accident.

CHILDREN OF THE CORN (2023)

When you have EIGHTEEN producers on a movie you know it’s rough waters ahead. This second remake (it was difficult deciding which of the two was worse) comes from the guy who wrote action movies like the recent Jason Statham actioner, THE BEEKEEPER (2024). The one thing this flick does right is ‘He Who Walks Behind the Rows’ actually walks this time as opposed to burrowing underground… by way of a ten foot tall corn monster brought to life via the shittiest of CGI. We’re supposed to believe that this corn demon is brought into existence over the government's plan to bulldoze corn crops and pay the farmers in subsidies.  And as is customary these days, if the men aren’t dominated by the women, previous male roles are now played by females. In the case of this mediocre movie, the mini-menace is more Greta Thuneberg than the legitimately creepy Isaac Chroner. Minus the religious underpinnings that made the hellish aspects of the original make sense, this corn husk of a movie instead preaches politics. It’s certainly better at being a horror movie than some of the other sequels; but that’s like saying this round of food poisoning was better than the last one.

 

Two entries, CHILDREN OF THE CORN: REVELATION (2001) and CHILDREN OF THE CORN: GENESIS (2011), the 7th and 8th entries in the series, were unavailable for review; and judging by clips, I wasn't about to buy copies of either film to find out.

Ranking the SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT series: 6 entries (1984-2012)

1. SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT (1984)

If you grew up in the 1980s and loved horror movies, this was the one you wanted to see. Not since FRIDAY THE 13TH (1980) had a horror flick caused an enormous amount of controversy. The grossly offended were anything but SILENT. And it wasn’t just those pompous twits Siskel and Ebert, it was parents groups and theater picketers trying to shut the movie down. Pulled from release after two weeks, the Saint Nick slasher was something of a holy grail of horror fans that wanted to see it. I was 9 years old at the time and couldn’t wait to see it; even though I’d have to use subterfuge our outright sneak to see it. To be honest, it’s understandable why parents would be concerned about a movie built around a killer in a Santa Claus suit. There had been other Santa horrors but SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT was the most brutal of them all. There’s a few genuinely intense scenes, an unsettling sadistic streak, and a high quotient of sex and nudity. It still has the power to offend 40 years after its original release.

2. SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT PART 2 (1987)

I find this sequel to be a bit more fun than the first movie but placed it at #2 since it recycles footage from the original; so it was a difficult decision. Fans tend to be highly critical of SNDN2 because of this, although the amount of footage is not “half the movie” as many suggest, but 28 minutes total; leaving an hours worth of original material. You can’t fault director Lee Harry, who was originally assigned to make a new movie exclusively out of nothing but footage from part 1, till he convinced the producers to put up money for new footage. He did a remarkable job under those circumstances. The film is almost entirely carried by lead actor Eric Freeman, delivering a crazed performance for the ages; one that redefines over the top. What else totes the film to a lesser degree are some creative death scenes involving an umbrella and a battery charger. There’s also a tongue in cheek quality that makes the film even more palatable with subsequent viewings. The cult for the film has grown exponentially over the years too. I’ve written a lot about the film, including an extensive interview with Eric Freeman I affectionately call “the Epic Freeman interview”  that you can read HERE; and also an interview with director Lee Harry which you can read HERE. Then there’s a review of the film you can read HERE. And finally, an appreciation article you can read HERE.

3. SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT 5: THE TOYMAKER (1991)

After three films about Santa slashers, the franchise went in a new direction with all new storylines with no connections. Of the two films with unrelated plot lines, THE TOYMAKER is the best; and that’s entirely due to the wildly original story about an evil toy maker (played by Mickey Rooney!) who makes malicious, killer toys. Something else it has going for it is the stunningly bonkers finale you’ll never see coming. It’s ironic Rooney stars here after vehemently condemning the first movie. To be fair, part 5 is nothing like part 1. The low budget occasionally shows in the ambitious FX sequences, but the imagination is this films Christmas gift to horror fans.

4. SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT 4: INITIATION (1990)

The first film of the series to deviate from killer Santa Claus’s, this third sequel deals with a coven of witches plotting a special Christmas Eve sacrifice. Like Mickey Rooney in part 5, Maude Adams was a big name and is a memorable presence in this bloody Christmas tale. Aside from being a direct to video picture, the production value is high and the end result is polished entertainment that’s unexpectedly enjoyable. If you can overlook the absence of a Santa slasher, there's some fun to be had here.

 

5. SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT 3: BETTER WATCH OUT! (1989)

 

Monte Hellman directed this direct sequel to SNDN2, bringing Ricky Caldwell back to kill again after a six year coma. Sadly, they didn't offer the role to Eric Freeman; instead giving it to horror favorite, Bill Moseley. It was probably for the best since Ricky's return has him with his brain exposed inside a dome on his head so he never utters a line of dialog. Freeman excelled with his manic performance in part 2 so having him not speak at all in this scenario, would be a greater sin to the film then the boring mess of a slasher movie it ended up being. That's not to say SNDN3 is a total loss. There's some nicely framed sequences and some decent attacks by the quasi-zombiefied Ricky. That's not what a horror fan wanted for Christmas, but you know what they say about it being better to give than receive. 

6. SILENT NIGHT (2012)

What was originally announced as a full-fledged remake ended up loosely based instead; with nods to the first and second films. A lot of fans like it. This one loathes it. Lots of CGI (Crap Generated Imagery) ruins every kill scene that the shaky cam hasn't already finished off. The mask worn by the Killer Kris Kringle looks good, but that's as far with the praise as I'm going to go. The filmmakers seem to have affinity for the first two films, which is admirable; it just doesn't translate well here.

Ranking the NIGHT OF THE DEMONS series: 3 entries (1988-2009)

1. NIGHT OF THE DEMONS (1988)

It’s only fitting that at least one franchise featured this year be set at Halloween. And that one being Kevin S. Tenney’s cult favorite from 1988. Horror had already been heavily diluted by the late 80s, but NIGHT OF THE DEMONS tries to find middle ground with the serious horror of the first half of the decade and the flashier, music video style horror films adopted by decades end. The plot details how a group of hell-raising teens throw a party inside a dilapidated funeral parlor, perform a seance, resurrect a demon, and try to escape alive. It’s basically a version of THE EVIL DEAD minus the cabin and the woods. The animated opening credits, grim atmosphere, and it being set at Halloween put this one at the top.

2. NIGHT OF THE DEMONS 2 (1994)

The sequel to the popular late-80s Halloween horror is a slicker, bigger budgeted affair. It’s more of a fun, blackly humorous romp compared to the first movie which was more of a straight horror film. Had this one been less silly, it would’ve edged slightly ahead of the first movie. Despite this, there’s more special effects, more gore, and more nudity. Angela (as played by Amelia Kincaid)  is a great horror villain and she is clearly relishing the role. She gets more screen time than before and goes out with a bang after transforming into a giant snake at the end. It’s a shame the momentum gained by this movie was wiped out with the next sequel.

 

3. NIGHT OF THE DEMONS (2009)

Instead of the Hull House, the setting is the Broussard Family Mansion in the Halloween-set remake of the 1988 horror favorite. The plot is different in how the night of devilry unfolds, but it’s still a character named Angela who sets it all motion. DEMONS ‘09 is a horrifyingly good remake that few seem to ever talk about. Too many remakes have an uneven mix of either replication or deviation. Adam Gierasch strikes a great balance of tribute and bringing something new to the material. Edward Furlong stars along with many gorgeous women. Linnea Quigley, who famously pushed a tube of lipstick through her breast in the original (a gag that’s remade here too) has a cameo.

 

4. NIGHT OF THE DEMONS 3 (1997)

The laughably budget-deprived opening credits dares you to shut off NIGHT OF THE DEMONS 3 within five minutes. Adding to the frustration is the fact it’s not even the same damn house. It’s the same movie all over again, though. There’s a lot of sex and nudity but the characters are the most unlikable yet. Amelia Kincaid as the series’ resident demoness is sexier than ever and the only reason to stick it out to the end. The scene where she sucks the gun barrel and then spits out the bullets is a highlight. Director Kevin Tenney is sorely missed.

Ranking the TREMORS series: 7 entries (1990-2020)

1. TREMORS (1990)

This homage to 50s monster movies was expected to make tremors at the box office but only managed a modest rupture. I didn’t think much of it at the time but it played better seeing it again these days. It gets repetitive at times, but the characters and their interactions keep things lively in between monster attacks. The highlight is an attack on Michael Gross and Reba McEntire in their weapons-laden basement. It’s hard to believe there’s seven of these movies and a television series. The sequels quickly flatline, but in a shocking turn of events, get better midway through. From here on out, the franchise burrowed into the home video terrain.

 

2. TREMORS 5: BLOODLINES (2015)

It took eleven years for the fourth sequel in the TREMORS series to surface. A new production team; a new series character played by Jaime Kennedy; a new location in South Africa; a new, darker approach; and a new look for the monsters—in this case, the Ass Blasters introduced in the awful part 3. Poorly designed in their debut, they’ve been overhauled here and actually look threatening. The attack scenes are well designed and executed culminating in a surprisingly entertaining sequel. Usually a franchise grows more stale with each entry but with TREMORS, the series grows stronger. I nearly abandoned this franchise altogether but glad I stuck it out.

3. TREMORS 6: A COLD DAY IN HELL (2018)

Michael Gross clearly relishes playing Burt Gummer and that is just as noticeable in this arctic set sixth film. Jaime Kennedy returns as his estranged son who joins him on worm hunts; this time in the Canadian Arctic tundra (although the movie is once again shot in South Africa and made to look wintry). The tone is lighter than part 5, but it’s not the goofball humor of the first three films either. The generous amount of monster attacks are almost as plentiful as the Tough Guy dialog scattered throughout the screenplay. The plot device of Gummer dying from a parasite that infected him when he was swallowed whole in part 3 offers numerous opportunities to enliven the action sequences.

4. TREMORS 7: SHRIEKER ISLAND (2020)

This so far final film in the popular series about giant man-eating worms is the JURASSIC PARK of the lot. It’s the most serious out of all the films and yet another refreshing entry from director Don Michael Paul. For this go-round, the setting is a tropical island where big game hunters have set up their ultimate quarry that they discover too late they’re not prepared for. Richard Brake, who starred in several shitty Rob Zombie movies, and recently in the excellent LAST STOP IN YUMA COUNTY (2024), makes a superb foil for Michael Gross’s iconic Burt Gummer.

 

5. TREMORS 4: THE LEGEND BEGINS (2004).

Apparently realizing making another sequel set in the desert wasn’t the best idea, the makers of T4 not only sets their movie in the desert, but sets it in the Old West… the town of Rejection, that later became Perfection. Despite the western setting, it’s the same movie yet again. Unlike a slasher franchise, there’s no fresh kills or nudity to keep things interesting. However, the attack scenes finally show some creativity unlike the comedy-centric 2nd and 3rd entries. Billy Drago’s gunfighter character is the films ace in the hole. Michael Gross, playing the great grandfather of his Burt Gummer character, plays his role the opposite of the modern day Gummer. It’s not a great movie, but preferable to the previous two sequels.

 

6. TREMORS 2: AFTERSHOCKS (1996)

The setting moves to Mexico but everything else remains the same. Fred Ward and Michael Gross return to exterminate Graboids and new additions—Shriekers, above-ground grabbers that look like mutated chickens. There’s some minor tension in this otherwise bland second entry that takes around 45 minutes for something to happen. Possibly the most polished of all the sequels, although that isn’t necessarily a recommendation. It looks bland and plays out in a way too similar fashion to the first movie, but minus the camaraderie of the original. Had Kevin Bacon returned, the movie might've been something special. It wouldn't be long before Michael Gross was carrying the series entirely on his shoulders.

 

7. TREMORS 3: BACK TO PERFECTION (2001)

It’s the same movie all over again; an imagination-free cash-grab. The film's trump card is Michael Gross; he makes it enjoyable, even more so than the almost entirely computer generated monsters. There’s an amusing Dark Horse Comics running gag, but aside from that, there isn’t much else interesting about the return to Perfection, the original Nevada location. The addition of flying monsters called Ass-Blasters, who take flight via fire-propelled flatulence, are a lazy design and look even worse in CGI. If not for Michael Gross, this movie would be as entertaining as a wet fart.

Ranking the SPECIES series: 4 entries (1995-2007)

1. SPECIES (1995)

The ALIEN (1979) of the 90s finds an alien/human hybrid escaping from a lab and being pursued by a group of scientists and detectives before she can mate with a male and bring about the end of humanity. Roger Donaldson wasn’t a director of either SciFi or horror, but does a strikingly good job making you think he was. There’s lots of nudity, gore and action set pieces. Natasha Henstridge is one hot E.T. This was when CGI was becoming more prominent (replacing those awful morphing effects) and practical effects were becoming less practical (but has since made a justified and most welcome comeback); so some of the computer imagery look like typical CGI--flat and non-tangible. The movie, though, with some potent tension and unsettling moments, is very much recommended.

2. SPECIES II (1998)

Part two of the sex with aliens saga ramps up everything from the first movie—the sex, nudity and gore. It's one of the most expensive Drive-in movies ever made coming from a major studio. Many of the key players from part 1 return, although Henstridge is playing a new alien, a clone of the original Sil named Eve. After a male astronaut returns to Earth from Mars infected by an alien organism, he leaves a trail of female corpses and a growing number of human/alien hybrids. So Michael Madsen, Marg Helgenberger head out in hot pursuit with Eve to track him down before he brings about the end of mankind. It's the same movie, even repeating some of the same action set-pieces, but it's fast-paced, gory as hell, and one of the trashiest part two's you're likely to see. The one thing that keeps this sequel from pulling ahead of the original is the stupid ending involving the seemingly dead Eve, a cat, and one of the alien hybrids that isn't supposed to be alive. Screenwriter Chris Brancato hated seeing his original ending mauled by studio bigwigs. On a positive note, the one area this film doesn't get excessive is in the CGI... it's an astonishing amount of practical effects.

3. SPECIES III (2004)

 

The third time is not the charm in SPECIES III, but the script has some interesting ideas even if they're sloppily executed. After SPECIES II went extinct at the box office, the series found a new settlement on home video. Natasha Henstridge appears for five minutes at the beginning before being killed off in an undignified way; but not before giving birth to a new alien hottie played by Sunny Mabrey. From there it's a bizarre plot about hybrids, an illness lethal to them, and a loony scientist who wants to preserve the race of aliens that are lethal to man. There's a lot of nudity, but for whatever reason, this SyFy Channel flick is curiously a talkier affair compared to the leaner and meaner previous films. The special effects are expectedly lower quality and the alien suits aren't that detailed either. Despite plentiful shortcomings, it's a mildly entertaining movie for curiosity seekers.

 

4. SPECIES: THE AWAKENING (2007) 

Ben Cross is the only part of the fourth SPECIES that takes the material seriously. The new alien on the block, Miranda, is played by blonde beauty Helena Mattsson. She looks good, but her less sultry line delivery makes her the least compelling E.T. of the series. The real showstopper is Marlene Favela as the evil Azura, an ultra hot alien hybrid who does battle with Miranda at the end in a reprise of the finale of SPECIES III. This fourth installment doesn't make a lot of sense and doesn't seem to know why it exists; it never actually feels like a SPECIES movie till 70 minutes into this mostly waste of time. You'll be better off only watching the last 20 minutes... THE AWAKENING will likely have put you to sleep long before then.

Ranking the WISHMASTER series: 4 entries (1997-2002)

1. WISHMASTER (1997)

Robert Kurtzman, co-founding member of fan favorite makeup effects group KNB (Greg Nicotero and Howard Berger being the other two founders), directed this fun horror fantasy about an evil Djinn who grants wishes that are really hell on Earth. Packed with cameos and special effects set pieces, the casting of Andrew Divoff as the title character was a stroke of genius. Even though it’s derivative of WARLOCK (1989), Kurtzman’s movie is just too much fun. There’s a few times where you’re reminded how awful morphing effects were in the 90s. Even so, WISHMASTER is one of the best horror films of that era—a decade with relatively few truly good ones.

2. WISHMASTER 2: EVIL NEVER DIES (1997)

Jack Sholder (ALONE IN THE DARK, THE HIDDEN) directs this less energized sequel that went direct to video. Shot for half what the first cost to make, the lower budget means less set pieces. Sholder compensates for this with a more dramatic narrative. Whereas the first movie had a smart and resourceful scientist as its protagonist, part 2 is centered around a young lady criminal seeking redemption. You could make a case that Divoff’s performance is better than before since the FX are limited so the script relies on exposition.

 

3. WISHMASTER 4: THE PROPHECY FULFILLED (2002)

Shot back to back with the third movie, the impoverished production values continue. A slight improvement over the atrocious third movie, both these flimsy sequels were directed by Chris Angel. Both films feel like they've been influenced by THE PROPHECY pictures, but replacing Christopher Walken's vengeful angel with the Djinn--looking like a Japanese Sentai monster than the sorely missed Andrew Divoff. This is more dark romance than outright horror that wouldn't be out of place on Cinemax at midnight. Unfortunately, the Djinn doesn’t grant wishes for better sequels.

 

4. WISHMASTER 3: BEYOND THE GATES OF HELL (2001)

The third in the killer Djinn series is the second to go straight to video. The series goes straight to hell from here too. Without Andrew Divoff, no amount of wishes can turn WISHMASTER 3 into a good movie. John Novak does what he can stepping into the role, but Divoff was simply too good in the part to be replaced by anybody else. It’s a poor movie in virtually all departments. Even the wishes are lazily conceived and lack the ironic cruelty of the first two films. Aside from a few good stunts at the end, you’d be missing nothing by passing on this home video hokum.

 

Ranking the HOSTEL series: 3 entries (2005-2011)

 

1. HOSTEL PART II (2007)

Eli Roth tends to put jarring scenes of infantile behavior in his movies but for this occasion, he keeps things focused and strictly adult. HOSTEL II was highly anticipated at the time. But when it was released to theaters, its domestic gross was only $17 million versus the $47 million domestic take of the original. Regardless of its poor showing, HOSTEL 2 is superior to the first one. The plot mirrors the first, but swaps out the boys for three girls. There's an unquestionably thick European atmosphere that is most welcome if you're a fan of Italian horror. The script adds some additional layers to the storyline that makes for a more intriguing viewing experience. For example, there’s an unexpected role reversal in the two main male characters. HOSTEL 2 has the strongest characterizations of the trilogy and one of the most terrifying and gruesome death sequences in modern horror.

2. HOSTEL (2005)

The term “torture porn” was coined with this movie; although this same type of horror picture mixed with sex, torture and gore had been going on in Japan since 1968s THE JOY OF TORTURE series. Eli Roth had made a name for himself for the quirky body horror flick CABIN FEVER but made a bigger box office splash with HOSTEL. It's sort of a mix of slob sex comedy shenanigans and gruesome slaughter horror wherein travelers and vacationers become unwitting casualties in a grotesque European business where people pay to murder helpless victims in the nastiest fashion possible. It's all fun and games for the first 40 minutes or so; then the sense of dread sets in and never lets up. It's a grueling horror film that changed the course of the genre in a way not seen since the 1980s with the advent of practical effects that brought all manner of the spectacle kill to life.

3. HOSTEL PART III (2011)

This DTV sequel is the same movie as before but does new things with the material. Foremost, it moves the location of the Elite Hunting Club from Slovakia to a US-based branch in Las Vegas. Scott Spiegel, a longtime friend and colleague of Sam Raimi, worked on THOU SHALL NOT KILL… EXCEPT (1985) with him; co-wrote THE EVIL DEAD 2 (1987); and directed the supermarket slasher INTRUDER (1989). Spiegel directs this second HOSTEL sequel and it’s surprisingly good. The opening of the movie turns expectations totally upside down. Then there’s an unexpected surprise 57 minutes in; and the Vegas death club is now a Grand Guignol style show with a paying audience. Had H3 co-opted the sense of dread permeating the original, it might’ve edged it out by a slim margin.

 

Ranking the HATCHET series: 4 entries (2006-2017)

1. HATCHET (2006)

The brainchild of filmmaker Adam Green, HATCHET—which feels like a revamped version of MADMAN (1981)—was marketed as a return to brutal, 80s horror. It definitely recalls the time period, but the intrusive humor makes the film feel more at home in the final few years of the decade when horror was increasingly diluted with comical nonsense; unlike the first five years of the 80s when horror was certainly darker and brutal. The best thing about the series is Kane Hodder as Victor Crowley;  seeing him get the chance to emote and act without the use of heavy makeup in flashback scenes are a treat. And not only does he play the killer with the utmost of zeal, he is the series stunt coordinator too. The other major star of the show are the practical gore effects—spectacular and plentiful as they are.

2. HATCHET III  (2013)

The filmmakers kept having to devise new ways to get people back into the swamps Crowley can stomp and chop them into mashed potatoes. This third entry has arguably the best plot of them all, and the best performance of Danielle Harris as Mary Beth. Things are kept serious, with little of the dumb humor that bogged down the first two films. The depiction of Victor Crowley is an even more powerful figure than seen before. Zack Galligan (GREMLINS), Caroline Williams (TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE 2), Derek Mears (HILLS HAVE EYES remake), and Sid Haig (DEVIL’S REJECTS) are the genre stars featured in this surprisingly strong second sequel.

3. HATCHET II (2010)

This meandering sequel takes nearly an hour of its 83 minutes before Crowley, the Louisiana bayou butcher, shows up to do his patented brand of head trauma. H2 picks up right where the original movie ended, with Marybeth (now played by Danielle Harris) facing certain death. We get more background on Victor Crowley that complicates what was revealed about him in the first movie. R.A. Mihailoff (Leatherface in 1990s TCMIII) has an earth-shaking brawl with Crowley and Tony Todd returns as Reverend Zombie. Rounding out the genre familiars, director Tom Holland (FRIGHT NIGHT, CHILD’S PLAY) has a crucial role; and special makeup effects man John Carl Buechler comes to a bad end in an opening cameo sequence. The gore is as splattery as before, it just takes a while getting to it. There’s another cliffhanger ending too.

4. VICTOR CROWLEY (2017)

The fourth, and so far last, in the HATCHET series is the most ambitious and frustrating of the series. There’s a lot of potential but director Adam Green (who directed all but part 3) never quite realizes it. Crowley seems to have less screen time than before, with the bulk of it going to returning character Andrew (played by Parry Shen, who has starred in all four films). These scenes with him and his struggle to go back to the swamp of horrors are expertly handled, but horror fans might feel short-changed since the film takes so long getting there. The special effects aren’t as good as before nor are they as plentiful. Still, the storyline is well-crafted in finding yet another reason to get people into Crowley’s domain to be mashed into tomato soup by him. Genre vets this time out are: Felissa Rose, Tyler Mane, Tiffany Shepis, and a cameo by Tony Todd and end credits cliffhanger appearance by Danielle Harris foreshadowing a sequel that has yet to materialize.

Ranking the STAKE LAND series: 2 entries (2010-2016)

1. STAKE LAND (2010)

Shot for under a million dollars, it’s stunning that STAKE LAND looks as good as it does. It’s a level of professionalism not seen since the Indy days of the 70s and 80s. The plot concerns a vampire apocalypse and the remnants of normal society trying to survive not just against bloodsucking ghouls, but a psychotic religious cult called The Brotherhood. Nick Damici co-wrote the script and plays survivalist vampire slayer named simply Mister—one of the genres great characters. Director and co-writer Jim Mickle has made a movie that not only succeeds in creating a dank atmosphere of fear and hopelessness, but also establishes a strong stable of characters you actually care about (as well as villains you’ll justifiably hate). Kelly McGillis (Tom Cruise’s love interest in 1985s TOP GUN) is nearly unrecognizable as the films moral center. Scream Queen Danielle Harris is equally good as the films moral hope for a new and civilized future. It’s comparable to Romero’s best zombie societal damnations but with vampires. Highly recommended and one of the best horror movies of the last 25 years.

2. STAKE LAND 2 (2016)

The STAKEs are raised in this surprisingly adept sequel that’s even more ambitious but slightly less successful in execution. The storyline adds a new vampire villain, and new threats in an even more dire post-apocalyptic wasteland akin to any of your finer MAD MAX clones. There’s cannibals and quirky characters aplenty; the Brotherhood returns, now in league with the vampire horde. The script is another character-driven piece, although the Queen vampire feels a bit underwritten as I’d like to have seen more of her. The film is mildly hampered by crucial sequences being irritatingly dark, rendering the action difficult to ascertain what’s happening. The mysterious Mister (played by co-writer Nick Damici) returns, and continues to be a fascinating character you want to see more of. It’s unfortunate there wasn’t a third film to make the series a trilogy; especially since the film ends on a cliffhanger. Other returning characters are Connor Paolo as Martin and Bonnie Dennison as Peggy.

 

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!